Sometimes My Emotions Sneak Out of My Eyes

Life is harsh. I have cried more tears of sadness than I want to admit...memories of life experiences such as the deaths of loved ones, broken trust, strained relationships, health issues, financial difficulties, life changing decisions...the list goes on endlessly. Sometimes I just can't stop the tears. At times they drip quietly down my cheeks; other times they burst from my eyes like a roaring waterfall and create a flood of evidence that my mind and heart have surpassed their capacity to hold pain or sorrow or fear.

My tears aren't always sad tears. Take for instance the memories I have of the days each of my children were born. I put pen to paper in an attempt to express the feelings of my heart on each of those special occasions:

Connection

Only moments ago

I wondered who you were;

Now that I am holding you

My heart begins to stir.

Suddenly I recognize

Now that we’re together,

I would give up everything

To be with you forever.

-Karla Claybrook

Thinking of those sacred tender moments always makes me shed a few tears, as that feeling of unspeakable joy again fills my heart. These among others, are some of the memories I hold dear. I'm grateful no one can ever steal them from the corners of my heart and mind that only I am allowed access to.

Growing up I hated crying. I fought it ferociously. And when I was unsuccessful at keeping my tears at bay, I beat myself up emotionally as I resolved that next time I would fight harder, and be stronger. However, with time I've come to realize crying serves a purpose and is definitely not a sign of weakness. Here are some things I've discovered:

• Tears lubricate our eyes to protect them from infection, and help to remove irritants such as smoke, exhaust, dust particles and even those random little "free spirited" eyelashes that sometimes get in the eye.
• Crying helps to release pent up emotions such as fear, sadness, and anger. When we're done crying our heart rate slows and our breathing becomes more regulated because we've entered a more calm emotional state.
• Crying releases hormones that dull emotional and physical pain.
• Emotional tears heal the heart. I used to tell my children "it's OK to cry; tears are band-aids for your heart".
• Crying helps to clear our minds and bodies of stress and sadness, and hurt and anger.
• Crying helps to heal depression and anxiety.
• Sometimes tears express what we are otherwise unable to express.
• Crying is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of vulnerability and helps us to make personal connections and build stronger healthy relationships.
• Crying helps us to acknowledge and confront emotions that may otherwise stop us from moving forward. Sometimes we have to take that risk to gain the benefits of personal growth.

Sometimes I choose to cry in private. It's a little easier to let the tears flow when I can just sit or lay on my bed and cry quietly to myself. There is no one to answer to; I have no need to explain or validate my need to cry, and I can cry for as long and as hard as I want.

I am careful about who I cry on. I hate being vulnerable, then having someone tell me I'm being silly, or there's no reason for tears. If I want to cry or need to cry, that's mine! I am responsible for my own emotions and if I need to express them or work through them NO ONE has the right to decide differently. And I extend that same compassion to others.

I'm grateful for tears; for the ability to express and release my emotions. When on this crazy journey of life you are feeling broken, useless, alone, incompetent, crushed or rejected OR when your heart is bursting with joy, happiness, gratitude, love, appreciation or elation, don't worry if those emotions sometimes sneak out of your eyes. It's healthy. It's healing. And it's completely acceptable!

I'm all in! Are you with me?