When There's Still Smoke in the Air

I had good intentions when I began writing this post. Something positive and uplifting as has been my goal with each one previous. But my heart is aching to be blunt and raw and vulnerable…to just tell it like it is. No holding back. No hiding behind “it’s all going to be OK.” If you can read without judgement, if you can open your heart and extend compassion, if you can listen even though you don’t understand or agree…keep reading. If not, I hold nothing against you, but ask that you excuse yourself and quietly leave this post.

#Metoo. I’ve seen this plastered all over my Facebook news feed as of late. “If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote ‘Me too’ as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”

I’ll be honest here. Me too. But I just couldn’t bring myself into the position of feeling like plastering this all over Facebook was productive; my mind just kept going back to “And?...” What purpose could this possibly serve? Until today. I get it. Today I caught the vision. I get it because my incredibly brave and unbelievably strong daughter decided she’s done hiding behind secrecy and shame, joining the masses who have found the courage to speak up in spite of what others might think; releasing their anger, hurt, fear, anxiety, or depression regardless of the “political correctness” or “social taboo” of doing so. There is healing in giving oneself permission to own their story, whatever that story might be (not just sexual harassment or assault)…even if it involves not so pleasant ugly embarrassing details regarding the actions of another human being. I’m not justifying brashness or retaliation or sucking the life out of people with constant complaints of “woe is me”, of wallowing without effort to grow and heal and change. But, I am validating the need to stop pretending that our pain and trauma and scars don’t deserve a voice for the sake of keeping the peace, protecting the perpetrator, avoiding embarrassment, or mitigating the pain. A fire ignored is no less likely to destroy you. In order to heal, to learn to love who you are, you can’t hate the experiences that have shaped you. Own them. Make peace with them. Learn to appreciate the strength you have found because of them. There is no healing in silence. #breakthesilence #healthepain

I'm all in! Are you with me?