If I Don't Need It...It's Gone!

At first glance, change looked like this:

I wanted it pretty bad. And I knew in the end I would be celebrating a grand accomplishment. But it was so overwhelming to figure out how to begin.

There's a lot of information available on the internet, multiple opinions in a never ending supply of self-help books, and of course there's the committee in my head that has already decided 1) This isn't worth it  and 2) This is NEVER going to happen, so I'd be foolish to even consider doing anything different than leaving my life's outcome to the "fate controlling trolls" of the universe.

But I'm so tired of pathetic messages, done with being a people pleaser, and I've turned in my resignation for door mat services. My plan for change is definitely calculated. It's like a huge jigsaw puzzle. I can see the beautiful outcome. I can visualize the breathtaking view at the top of the mountain. I AM the master of my fate. I alone determine what changes take place, and I have set my own pace. It's not a race; I have NO ONE to compete with but my own freaking awesome self. I am carefully choosing my goals, becoming an authority on achieving my dreams and blowing my own mind with the reality of what I can accomplish! I have been sifting through the pieces and have set up the frame work. And slowly, but steadily over time, I am sorting through all of the possibilities, working one section at a time until all of it comes together for a perfect fit. It will be a masterpiece. It will be MY masterpiece!

So, here's what I don't need:

• Luke warm fence sitting - I'm all in or all out. My time, my schedule, my likes and dislikes, my health, my happiness, my opinions, my beliefs...they ALL matter. This is MY plan for change...not my mom's, or my sister's, or my boss's, or my friend's plan. Too many authorities and the plan is no longer mine.
• Indecisiveness - Decisions have to be made. If I let someone else dictate the plan, they also dictate the outcome. If I'm not happy with the outcome...I have no one to blame but myself.
• Boxes - I can't allow myself to be "boxed in" by what anyone else thinks, or by fear, or by negativity. Nor can I allow pessimism, or "what if's" or laziness or procrastination or insecurity to keep me from moving freely to achieve my goals.
• Distractions - These are huge! And they are dangerous. Nothing gets done if I don't have my plan broken down into smaller manageable parts. Something has to be done every single day to move me toward my goal of change. Focus is imperative. I've learned being accountable to myself is essential to success. I MUST say what I mean, and mean what I say. I MUST follow through with what I've committed to myself to accomplish in any given time period. It's way too easy to put it aside and leave it for later, because it doesn't affect anyone else. But...if I can't be accountable to myself I've pretty much quit before I've even gotten started.

Me first! I'm in the front seat! It's a crazy ride and sometimes it's a little

very scary. There are going to be moments of panic, and a few u-turns, and some tire marks, evidence of an abrupt screeching of the brakes when I suddenly lost my mind and stopped moving forward for a time. But ALWAYS, every day from this day forward I WILL stay in the front seat and be in control. This is MY ride, MY journey, MY choice. And when I get to the finish line I want NO regrets. I want to arrive with my wind blown, mud stained, happier than hell self thinking it was the best decision I have ever made.

I'm all in! Are you with me?