It's Deeper Than It Appears To Be

Makes sense right? Especially since I'm talking about change! Change of heart, change of thought patterns, change of mind set...they're all "internal", but they for me they've lead to "external" change as well!

I spent years...I'm talking 25+ years, putting myself on the back burner. I put EVERYONE ELSE and their needs ahead of me. I spent hours, which eventually turned into days and weeks and months neglecting myself. I completely ignored my physical health, my emotional health, my overall happiness and well-being. Yep, I took the back seat and gave complete control of my existence to anyone willing to take it. I disregarded my value as an individual and became the "poster child" for valiantly meeting the wants and needs of others. I wore myself out physically, drained myself mentally and completely sabotaged myself emotionally in the name of "selfless service" while keeping a smile on my face to cover up my pain and misery.

Take a look at these photos. You can see exactly what I'm talking about:

And then one day my world exploded when my family experienced a severe trauma that pretty much "blew the house down", and I was left in the devastating and overwhelming debris of anger, sadness and confusion. Life as I knew it was completely destroyed...along with my plastic embodiment of purposeful existence. I spent months walking around with my head and heart disconnected. I had no idea what to do with myself, and barely found the strength to go through the daily robotic motions of wandering aimlessly until sheer exhaustion forced me to my bed for the night.

And here I am today:

There are obvious physical changes, but those have only come because of the change inside. It's been a long hard road and the changes have been tough and challenging, but I've NEVER felt better in my life physically, emotionally or mentally.

If you want to know what changes I'm talking about...come back! I'll be giving specific detail in my future posts!

Until then...remember "nothing changes, if nothing changes" and if you want to determine your destiny you've got to jump into the front seat and take control!

I'm all in! Are you with me?