I LOVE the sound of silence. You know, when you can hear absolutely nothing but your breathing and the beating of your heart. Now, I'm not suggesting that I'd like to live the life of a recluse; I don't think I would last long without contact with humanity. I'm very much a people person...I thrive on hugs, and laughter and meaningful conversation. But I am suggesting that a purposeful few minutes or even an hour or two alone can be extremely beneficial.
I'm not talking about "down time". I'm talking about purposefully scheduled time by myself, away from the distractions of life with the intent of tracking the progress of my goals, organizing my strategies for completing tasks/meeting deadlines, calendaring my appointments and responsibilities, and recharging for the coming week. It helps me to check my perspective, set a realistic game plan, heighten my awareness of other people around me, and makes me a better listener. It's a great opportunity for reflection and evaluation:
- Am I where I expected to be five, or even 10 years ago? If not, why not? Do I need to change my course, be a little more realistic in my expectations, or get going in a completely different direction?
- What about my relationships? Are they fulfilling? Are they balanced? If not, why not? What needs to change? Am I communicating openly and clearly? Am I "taking" more than I'm "giving"? Am I being taken advantage of? Am I using my voice appropriately?
- What's up with my employment? Am I working in my desired field? If not, what's stopping me? Am I on track for retirement? Is there something that needs to change?
- How high is my stress level? If it's high...why? Can I control any of the things I'm stressing over? What needs to change? Are the things I'm stressing over mine or someone else's? Do I need to reevaluate my boundaries? How can I decompress?
- How is my sleep? Am I making sleep a priority? Do I feel exhausted even when I sleep a sufficient number of hours at night? Is there anything I could do differently?
The list is endless...physical health, finances, vacations, avoiding procrastination, emotional health, education pursuits, meeting the needs of aging parents, wholesome family activities...And it's an ongoing process. I choose some specifics to focus on because it can become really overwhelming very quickly. I have a lifetime for growth and improvement, for organizing and accomplishing. The important thing is to be actively pursuing it.
So how do I make this happen? First and most important it has to be scheduled. And once it's scheduled I have to be accountable to myself and make it happen. Sometimes I have to get up a little bit earlier than usual so I have quiet undisturbed time to myself. It's amazing how clearly I can think in the early morning hours when the rest of the world appears to be suspended in sleep. Another option is during a lunch break. This is a little more limited time slot, but if a person is well organized and keeps it simple, it works fairly well. If there are constant unavoidable interruptions this may not be a viable option.
Just as importantly, close the door. Sit in the car. Lock yourself in the bathroom. Or announce to your family that you are off limits for "x" amount of time. Clear your mind. Breathe. Practice hearing, feeling, and being comfortable with the silence. Of course, your littles need supervision, your phone needs to be off, and your head needs to be "on the same page" with your calendar. I know from experience you can make this work if you really want it bad enough. Be still. Plan and follow through. That's the secret. It takes work to have a purposeful life, but it's worth it!
I'm all in! Are you with me?
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