Thursday, September 28, 2017

So...What Are You Going To Do With That?


We've all been there at one time or another: 

Just received bad news. Can't get kids to cooperate. Hard day at the office. Family pet just died. Failing classes in school. Taking care of ailing parents. . Have a migraine. Fought with sibling this morning. Forgot to do homework. Feeling ignored. Needs aren't being met. Can't pay the bills. Car totaled in an accident. Foreclosure on house. Feeling annoyed. Laid off from job. Feeling depressed. Lonely. Anxious. Being bullied at school. Feeling guilt. Spouse diagnosed with terminal illness. No friends. Vacation cancelled. Overworked. Underpaid. Victim of crime. Not enough sleep. Being abused. Unwanted pregnancy. Heart broken. Can't catch a break. Worried. Emotionally exhausted.

And yet, we choose to put on the face that says "I'm fine" as sometimes the humiliation of being broken, or fear of bursting the emotional dam is too much to handle. Feeling pain, expressing emotion...even the negative ones...is part of the raw human experience. And sometimes we feel compelled to deny ourselves that same experience we would willingly allow another human being. We hold ourselves to a higher standard, make ourselves the exception to the rule because we should be stronger than that, exercise better self control, have a more optimistic attitude.



There are, however, wonderful benefits to communicating our emotions in a healthy manner, in the right context, and with people who truly care about us:
  • Venting or processing provides emotional relief and/or helps to alleviate suffering
  • It provides a sense of clarity and understanding
  • We are better able to find meaning in our experiences and make sense of our emotions
  • We can seek advice, solutions, suggestions and feedback
  • We are better able to identify and validate our emotions
  • We learn to be more compassionate with ourselves and with others
  • We become better at nurturing interpersonal relationships
  • It helps us to put our experiences into perspective
It's not always easy. Sometimes it requires a huge amount of humility and courage. It requires time and effort and energy. You may find that professional help is necessary; there's nothing wrong with meeting with a therapist who can provide helpful tools to promote healing and coping skills. It can be exhausting and frustrating on many levels. But ultimately, it's one of the best things you can do for yourself. Nothing worth doing is ever easy!

I'm all in! Are you with me?


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