Take Your Hand Off The Burner

I couldn't help myself. I felt as though I were flying as I propelled that swing up higher and higher. Stretching my legs and feet out as far as they would go, I foolishly struggled to reach the leaves of a tree, dangling overhead just out of my reach. My nine year old mind denied the absurdity of such an impossible undertaking until my body was suddenly hurled into the air, and I landed with a thud, my right foot in a twisted heap underneath  of me. The excruciating pain flung me into a harsh reality.

Denial is the refusal to accept reality, which can at times be unbearably painful. It is a state of resistance and suppression, of pushing against the painful, the awkward or embarrassing, or the unpleasant. It's where we go when we want to avoid despair. There are many reasons one might choose to go into denial...the need to be in control, to protect oneself, a desire to numb pain, a lack of self love or acceptance, an attempt to fill a void, a lack of feeling "good enough", or the absence of valuing one's talents and abilities. However, to minimize, excuse, or rationalize a situation, or the impact of a problem in a person's life, is damaging. It sets a person up for unnecessary feelings of guilt, shame and self loathing, causing them to be constantly at war with themselves and with others. It's like putting one's hand on the red hot burner of the stove and ignoring the damage. Sometimes reality sucks. But I have found there are so many benefits to facing it:

• Freedom to be who I am and who I want to be.
• Allowance for spiritual growth and emotional healing
• More space in my heart and in my life for peace; sometimes I choose  it and sometimes I have to create  it
• The ability to feel joy
• Feelings of peace and joy and happiness attract wonderful and amazing and awsomeness in my life
• I have control over my life and my choices
• I have developed talents that were just waiting to be discovered
• I have learned to recognize how strong, courageous and determined I can be
• I am more confident in my ability to make good decisions and not allow others to interfere
• It's easier to trust my gut/intuitions

Coming out of denial has required me to confront myself and others. I've had to work through the pain and harshness of reality not only in my life, but in my self...my habits, my attitudes, my weaknesses and my flaws. I've had to deal with betrayal...times and situations when I was mistreated, mislead or disappointed either by another individual or through my own negligence or lack of personal accountability. I've had to choose to take a stand and refuse to be manipulated or taken advantage of. Has it been easy? No. And it's an ongoing process and a balancing act. Find my courage. Take a stand. Show kindness to myself and others. Set boundaries. Be humble. Don't sell myself short. Show up. Don't be so quick to pass judgement on others...

I choose  to recommit myself every single day.

Remember: "What we focus on expands"

I'm all in! Are you with me?